^PMS's Past Quotes

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<debauched> Stolen Munch Paintings Are Recovered http://www.nytimes.com/2006/09/01/arts/design/01scre.html l:p oldwarez:oldwarez <debauched> Have they arrested Mukluk? <Scorponok> haha <Scorponok> Mukluk was actually the person Munch painted in the Scream. <debauched> It must have been the moment when he realized he was an Eskimo

<Deathreap> He ate too many lemons? :P <Deathreap> Lemonia isn't even a disease. :P <Deathreap> You fucking liar. :P

<fRy-> if cashiers (cute ones, etc) drop your change into your hand from like two or three inches above your hand it's because they're disgusted by you and don't want to touch you. <parker> That happens to me all the time! <fRy-> well, now ya know man! <fRy-> deep down you're like "man i wish she'd of touched me i bet that would have felt nice. :(" <parker> Sometimes it's the only human contact I have all day.

<bai> would you let me pee on your face for $1500? <CrazeD> bai: if you were a girl

I'm an Africanized honey bee!!!! All starving and AIDSy. I'm a Mexicanized honey bee!!!! Tacos y tostadas. I'm a Germanized honey bee! Arbeit macht frei. I'm an Iranized honey bee!!!! Mullah bin kaff gag sand. Halp.

<_nihil> phillip... <_nihil> Are you ever like... <_nihil> Ashamed of your existence? <ajax> Phillip defends america. <_nihil> When you sit down to watch Anime... <_nihil> Do you feel dirty? <^phillip> nihil, I'm too hedonistic for that. :P <_nihil> You sit around and eat peanut butter sandwiches. <_nihil> And surf the web. <_nihil> That's not hedonism. <^phillip> sugary snacks.

<^phillip> I'm trying to get a wiki going at work. :P <Scorponok> About what, how to kill terrorists? :P <minya> Probably about how to fix the vending machine. :P

Buying a stock that is dropping while trying to catch the bounce is like trying to grab a knife while dropping. If you reach out to early you will get cut.

The bible doesn't give us all the details but it implies pancakes.

<_nihil> I'm not THAT angry. <_nihil> I have no page down key right now because I smashed my keyboard and it went flying

Newlywed Britney Spears Hangs Bloody Sheet In Window For Reporters

<Zing> every episode is individually rar'd into 1.4mb chunks. <Zing> I feel like it's 1997 and I am leeching from usenet. <Zing> thumbs.db can also die

Welcome to America, Land of the Free* *Void where prohibited. Some restrictions apply, see DMCA/USAPA.

A title card before "Alexander" warns viewers it is illegal to film what they see on the screen. Too bad it wasn't illegal to film it in the first place.

A Colorado Springs woman recently received a call from someone claiming to be from Sen. John Kerry's presidential campaign who expressed condolences about the death of her husband in Iraq. When the woman said she knew her husband was still alive, the caller said a vote for Kerry would help keep him that way.

ACAPULCO, Mexico (AP) -- Four gunmen abducted three U.S. citizens on a rural highway in southern Mexico, shot and killed two of them and left the third -- a pregnant woman -- bound and gagged, authorities said Saturday. <Mukluk> Family values doesn't stop at the Rio Grande. :P

<Moneo> http://us.news1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/p/rids/20040925/i/r3880686339.jpg <Moneo> I'm voting for that man. <Moneo> DAMN YOU GEORGE BUSH!

<DOugmod> lol <DOugmod> the OP at the top <DOugmod> "balls" <nihil> Seriously. <nihil> You're a moron, DOugmod. <DOugmod> lol <DOugmod> i dont wann get banned agin

Dr. Weird: Gentlemen, behold, my beautiful fiancee! Steve: I think that's a giant spider. Dr. Weird: You're right! I've been betrayed! Run!

<ajax> don't you do RC airplanes, dwango? :P <dwango> yes <ajax> When no one is looking.. <ajax> do you ever fly your planes into two empty refridgerator boxes? <ajax> and yell ALLAHU AKBAR.

Listen, man -- What part of "Democracy Freedom Stay the Course Terror Terror" don't you understand.

<Deathreap> :D <Deathreap> I am playing with a squirrel. :P <Deathreap> He's taken refuge inside my shirt. :S <Deathreap> OH GOD THE TICKLING. <Deathreap> On one hand he's warm and fuzzy, on the other hand THE CLAWS@%@@##

Real Time Strategy games: <zin> if phillip ever has more than 10 units together ... i swear he starts fearing their mutiny. :P <zin> and disbands them. :P

Using a key to gouge expletives on another's vehicle is a sign of trust, and friendship.

I'm not afraid of insects taking over the world, and you know why? It would take about a billion ants just to AIM a gun at me, let alone fire it. And you know what I'm doing while they're aiming it at me? I just sort of slip off to the side, and then suddenly run up and kick the gun out of their hands.

* Joins: JeanCharl (JeanCharl@ALille-205-1-2-52.w81-248.abo.wanadoo.fr) <JeanCharl> You american should take back the bones of your fucking WWII veteran who are still polluting our beautiful country. Otherwise we'll throw these rotten shitbag to the sea. <Moneo> Hahahahahahaha. <JeanCharl> die fucking geneticaly inferior subspecies <aard> don't make me come over there and invade you <aard> i realize you guys like surrendering but i have a very busy week * Quits: JeanCharl (JeanCharl@ALille-205-1-2-52.w81-248.abo.wanadoo.fr) <Moneo> You scared him off. <aard> he's going to find his white flag

<Despoiler> What part did you have in Saddam's capture, Phillip? :P <Despoiler> I heard that you were seen duelling him, and swinging from a chandelier with a rapier :P

<Ignitor> is kwanzaa like kazaa?

<minya> "Fox News", and its audience, needs to be wiped out. :P <Moneo> Hahaha. Fox News rules. :P <Moneo> It's so funny. :P <minya> They should have an ancillary channel that's just footage of an American flag waving 24/7. :P

<zin> i was speaking to this girl today. :P <zin> she was speaking about her farther the glorious military man. :P <zin> so i finally said ... <zin> "he is enlisted isnt he?" :P <zin> and she almost cried. :P

<Ignitor> what is your major? <parkplace> My major was Information Technology. <Ignitor> the moneo major <parkplace> Yeah, that's the one. <Ignitor> so what are you now? <parkplace> A broken, empty shell of a man.

<fRy-> With a Centrino laptop. <fRy-> I detect four wireless networks, all four unencrypted, sitting here in my apartment. :P <ar5on> haxor <fRy-> Downloading at 350k/s on this guy's wireless. :P <fRy-> Why? I don't know. Mostly because he's too much of an idiot to configure WEP. :P

Lesson 22: Blessed silence.

<ajax> haha ok a game with the install directory "War of the Ring(tm)" can't be very good. :P <fRy> God. <fRy> Are you serious. <ajax> Yeah. :P <fRy> They trademarked the fucking directory. <ajax> The directory is property of the Tolkein estate, apparently.

Goonies never say die.

I spy with my little eye... nothing. Thanks to your sharp stick.

<nihil> IS IT_AS_DFLçASDçLASç°SDA°àòàò <nihil> Fuck. <nihil> My keyboaràd is in itaòian. <nihil> è+è+è+èàòàòàò__-ùùùùù

<fRy-> we need a solid #theresistance retirement plan. :P <fRy-> so we all don't croak before 60 and can play games all day then <Norbule> hahahhaha <fRy-> since we're all fucked for the next 35-40 years or so <fRy-> IT'S A PLAN. :P <Moneo> Hopefully my late years will be filled with virtual-reality sex romps through a massive MMORPG-PORNOGRAPHIC-SIMULATION. :P <fRy-> we'll be here, a few of us will have kicked the bucket, but we'll be playing some amazing game. :P <fRy-> all old and shit. :P <fRy-> and pip will be the last man on earth using linux <fRy-> we'll all be using quanum computing and pip will be on a p6 15.4ghz since it was the last x86 processor made <fRy-> Deathreap will have moved from being the stocker at walmart to the guy who greets you in the front. :P

<DarkDruid> I mean, his nickname was "danp", which is very close to panda... BUT. :P <DarkDruid> I feel like there's something else going on here. :P <DarkDruid> Do we call him panda because he's half black, half white, and from China? :P <Mukluk> Well, you're very keen-witted. :P <Mukluk> That's exactly why we call him that. :P

<^phillip> Let freedom ring, http://www.loc.gov/copyright/legislation/dmca.pdf <_zin> Freedom will not be published in pdf format. :P <^phillip> Ain't that the truth, brother.

<FARRELL> n e one wanna play a game? <Ichabod> a game of what? <Ichabod> scrabble?

<Deathreap> I hated people who came into the computer store I worked at that had the same computer for 5 years and never once formatted the hard drive or defragged. :P <Deathreap> ..and were adamant that NOT A SINGLE FILE COULD BE LOST. :P <Deathreap> ..and I'd ask them if the files were business related and they'd just be like "NO! It's KAZAA!" and I'm like .....so download it again. ..and they're all "I DON'T KNOW HOW!#%!#%" :P

It's a twelve gauge double barreled Remington, S-Mart's top-of-the-line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids Michigan. Retails for about $109.95. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel and a hair trigger. That's right. Shop Smart. Shop S-mart.

Your belief that the earth is carried on the back of a giant turtle will seem silly, until you receive panicked, late-night phone calls from NASA herpetologists.

<Ichabod> "Obituaries e-mailed to you daily" <Ichabod> awesome service

<aard> Steve Kemp discovered a buffer overflow in marbles, when processing the HOME environment variable. This vulnerability could be exploited by a local user to gain gid 'games'. <aard> OMG

* DarkDruid changes topic to 'Half-life 2 delayed until Holidays. Haha. :P' <Scorponok> DarkDruid: URL PLZ <DarkDruid> I don't know :P <Scorponok> Then how did you find out? :P <Scorponok> Did a gang of monkeys inform you? :P <DarkDruid> Simultaneous posts in every channel I'm on? :P <DarkDruid> Of the same fucking paragraph? :P

Don't Copy that Floppy

<zin> my goal is to spread my seed on every continent. :P <fysa_> that, my friend, is one of the most beautiful things I've ever heard.

Das computermachine ist nicht fuer gefingerpoken und mittengrabben. Ist easy schnappen der springenwerk, blowenfusen und poppencorken mit spitzensparken. Ist nicht fuer gewerken bei das dumpkopfen. Das rubbernecken sichtseeren keepen das cotten-pickenen hans in das pockets muss; relaxen und watchen das blinkenlichten.

   |\      _,,,---,,_
   /,`.-'`'    -.  ;-;;,_
  |,4-  ) )-,_. ,\ (  `'-'
 '---''(_/--'  `-'\_)

<Mukluk> GIANT FUCKING MOHT <Mukluk> JESUS CHRIST <Mukluk> WHAT THE FUCK> <Mukluk> EWHAT H <Mukluk> HGJESU HCIRS <Mukluk> AH <Mukluk> ASJWHAT

<AJAX> BERLIN, July 23 (Reuters) - Almost one in three Germans below the age of 30 believes the U.S. government may have sponsored the September 11, 2001, attacks on New York and Washington, according to a poll published on Wednesday. <AJAX> YES! AND THE COMMUNIST AND ANARCHISTS BURNT DOWN THE REICHSTAG AT THE BEHEST OF THEIR JEWISH OVERLORDS!!! <AJAX> IT IS ALL COMING TOGETHER.

ALL OF YOU -- STEP AWAY FROM THE KEYBOARD.

You're four hundred pounds and you have a keychain with a rape whistle. I've got half a mind to rape you on principle.

<Caqula> is your FASTdial fast, nihil? :P * Quits: _nihil (~bling@host33.FASTdial.net) (Read error: Connection reset by peer) <Caqula> I guess that answered my question. :P

Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

AS THEY SAY, YOU CAN'T HOLD DOLPHINS IN A FORCE FIELD FOREVER POKEY!

I mean, let us be serious here for a second. Most of people don't care about anything. All they want is play games, play games, and then play some games. That's it. Freedom? Philosophy? Human rights? They just don't care as long as they have TV, pop music, video games, fast food and a new Saddam or Osama to kill and blame for their misery from time to time. This may be sad, but that is the truth.

<Mukluk> WHTA/ <Mukluk> WHAT FUC <Mukluk> WHAT THE FUCK? <elend> WTF? :P <DarkDruid> Mukluk: What's the problem? :P <Mukluk> JESUS CHRIST THARE AFUCKING BIRD <DarkDruid> God. He's been drinking again. :P

Even as NASA engineers debated possible damage, a flight director e-mailed Columbia's astronauts to say there was "absolutely no concern" that breakaway foam that struck the space shuttle might endanger its safe return. The shuttle's commander cheerily replied, "Thanks a million!"

If you expect to be ignorant and free, you expect something that never was and never will be.

bourgeoisie pig

<fRy> Three pr0n DVDs queued. :P <fRy> 13.4 gigs. :P <fRy> Time left 6.4 hours. :P <fRy> Oopsie. Two Xbox games added to queue. :P <fRy> 21.9 gigs queued. :P

Standard Deviation Not Enough For Perverted Statistician

<ar5on> back to rebuilding the linux box i guess <ar5on> its really a freebsd box <Deathreap> ar5on: That's interesting, because your mother has a freestd box. :P

The stark story of a family living in the Millennium and the problems they are faced with as they are killed off one by one.

Children need encouragement. If a kid gets an answer right, tell him it was a lucky guess. That way he develops a good, lucky feeling.

I prefer pie, cake. Also ice cream. I mentioned cake above (previously). Also Hostess products and products related to the Hostess line.

In your lifetime you will eat 12 spiders in your sleep.

Do not try to outrun fire, because it's much too fast. Wait, no, that's bears.

To announce that there must be no criticism of the president, or that we are to stand by the president, right or wrong, is not only unpatriotic and servile, but is morally treasonable to the American public. -- Theodore Roosevelt

Sorry I punched you in the throat. Get up.

Any tips for getting blood out of a clown suit? Stab the clown with a big knife. Blood will ooze out everywhere.

According to reports, Consuela Rodriguez, 41, nanny of Sara Denton, has appeared in more of the 6-year-old's crayon drawings than her own mother. "Here's a picture of me and Consuela at the zoo," Sara said Tuesday. "And here's me and Consuela at the park, and us eating at McDonald's. And this one is me and Consuela as ballerinas, and this one is me and Consuela having a picnic with SpongeBob. And here's one of Mommy in her car, driving to work." Sara's mother could not be reached for comment.

A funny thing to do is, if you're out hiking and your friend gets bitten by a poisonous snake, tell him you're going to go for help, then go about ten feet and pretend that *you* got bit by a snake. Then start an argument with him about who's going to go get help. A lot of guys will start crying. That's why it makes you feel good when you tell them it was just a joke.

Service Guarantees Citizenship

I think a good gift for the president would be a chocolate revolver. And since he's so busy, you'd probably have to run up to him and hand it to him.

Why do the caterpillar and the ant have to be enemies? One eats leaves, and the other eats caterpillars. Oh, I see now.

<fysa> Hey dicks. :P <fysa> MC Paul Barman sucks and I was too drunk to recall much about the Supersuckers. :P <fysa> Except that at one point they said their new album comes out soon, so keep an eye out for it, and I yelled "I ALREADY STOLE IT, FUCKFACE" at the top of my lungs. :P

<nihil> Shamson looks like a fucking terrorist. :P <Revolver> Exactly. :P <Revolver> He looks just like the American Taliban. :P

<fRy> Fucking. Books for living room tables. The oversized ones. <fRy> That cost $75.00. <fRy> I want one full of beaten hippies. <fRy> I'd pay the $75.00. <fRy> People would be like "Ohhhh... right...." :P <fRy> And I'd say "Beaten hippies. That one took a rubber bullet to the throat."

Too bad when I was a kid there wasn't a guy in our class that everybody called the "Cricket Boy", because I would have liked to stand up in class and tell everyone, "You can make fun of the Cricket Boy if you want, but to me he's just like everyone else." Then everybody would leave the Cricket Boy alone, and I'd invite him over to spend the night at my house, but after about five minutes of that loud chirping I'd have to kick him out. Maybe later we could get up a petition to get the Cricket family run out of town. Bye, Cricket Boy.

You will nearly drown when your classically educated mother submerges you in the Ohio River to give you invincibility.

<Blofeld^> I am leval 40 nihil. :P <^phillip> level 40 unemployment? :P

<Mustang|> Man, I've been scrolled up for like 2 days. :P <Mustang|> No wonder no one was saying anything. :P

Every time I reach into the can the Pringles are farther away ??? Is this some sort of quantum tubular phenomenon ?!?

<Moneo> phillip just doesn't go outside. He has constructed an elaborate system of tunnels. :P <Moneo> His underground network takes him anywhere he wishes to go. :P <Moneo> ...such as to the store for peanut butter. :P <nihil> He lives inside Cheyenne mountain. :P

<zin> ok contest time :P <zin> can i got the entire weekend without putting on clothes? :P <zin> because... i hate putting on clothes. :P <nihil> Yes, because you never go anywhere. :P

<zin> i dropped my bike. :P <zin> While going thirty. :P <zin> i skinned my knee. :P

Sure, life may seem pretty dark, but wonderful things are going to happen any minute now. Any minute now. Any minute now. Any minute now.

"I told u I was hardcore." Those were the last coherent words Brandon Vedas, 21, typed into the computer in his Phoenix bedroom as he showed off for Internet pals watching on a Web cam by swallowing more and more prescription drugs.

I like my coffee the way I like my women: Tied up in a burlap sack and dragged through the Andes behind a donkey.

My new year's resolution is 1600x1200.

If you're in a war, instead of throwing a hand grenade at the enemy, throw one of those small pumpkins. Maybe it'll make everyone think how stupid war is, and while they are thinking, you can throw a real grenade at them.

<XeaXes> whats up? <iHi> like, aren't you supposed to be dead <XeaXes> nah <Ichabod> last we heard you had conquered a small island nation and was ruling as king of the natives <XeaXes> thats true <iHi> I heard you were locked in a pay toilet that tipped over.. and had to live on the feces.. and eventually died <iHi> feces overdose <XeaXes> thats not true <XeaXes> i didn't die

If you go parachuting, and your parachute doesn't open, and your friends are all watching you fall, I think a funny gag would be to pretend you were swimming.

The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.

<boomz> i was woken up at 8am with a phone call <boomz> from a girl <boomz> telling me shes 'late' <boomz> and isn't feeling 'right' <Moneo> Your mother is sick and won't be able to pick you up until noon? :P

<boomz> they have pictures of him slamming 40's :P <Despoiler> slamming 40s? :P <^PMS> Despoiler, hood talk for boozin it up :P <^PMS> boomz is from the wrong side of the track :P <Despoiler> Ah. :P * Despoiler clears throat <Despoiler> Word. :P

I bet the main reason the police keep people away from a plane crash is they don't want anybody walking in and lying down in the crash stuff, then, when somebody comes up, act like they just woke up and go, "What was THAT?!"

<Moneo> That get up is funny because it gives an illusion that phillip goes outside. :P

Dance your cares away, Worries for another day. Let the music play, Down at Fraggle rock.

If you use arabic numerals, the terrorists have already 1.

You know, they say people get the government they deserve, but I don't recall knife-raping any retarded nuns.

<zin> i like it when pms leeches from me, it makes me feel good. cause i dont have to throttle the ftp. :P <zin> that and he is always with me, in packets as well as in spirit. :P

<LaDiEs^^> do you got any pictures of yourself? <ajax731> I have terminal stomach cancer.

New! We have just turned on 1-Click® ordering for you.

Would you be prepared if gravity reversed itself? The only thing I can't figure out is how to keep the change in my pockets. I've got it! Nudity!

Self-realization. I was thinking of the immortal words of Socrates, when he said, "I drank what?"

Was it a dream where you see yourself standing in sort of sun-god robes on a pyramid, with a thousand naked women screaming and throwing little pickles at you?

<ajax> God makes everything possible, Norbule. :P <ajax> Until you understand that, you understand nothing. :P <ajax> And when God wants me to win. <ajax> he lets me build the Goths. <ajax> it's that easy. <ajax> That is the essence of God. <ajax> He manifests himself through random civ selection in Aoe2. :P <ajax> The wicked are punished, the pious are rewarded. :P

<bai> ebay is the worst site on the unternet <ch> except for that one over there <bai> WHERE?!?!?! <ch> behind the chair! <bai> HAH that server isn't even on the internet!]\ <ch> yes it is! through chair packet protocol! <bai> cpp! <^PMS> sounds overengineered. <ch> it's pretty easy, actually. <ch> you encapsulate the data with a 0-byte header and send it to a chair. <ch> and the chair ignores it. <bai> what then? <ch> that's it! <bai> woah I didn't know it could be so simple

<Despoiler> I won't be on IRC any more after saturday :P <Despoiler> My university believes people sitting on IRC is a bigger waste of bandwidth than assholes downloading porn/warez from https :P <Despoiler> So they've banned all non http traffic from their network :P

<Daelin> I still see no mention or reason why this can't be merged <Daelin> or shouldn't be <Zanshin> because it would hurt the kittens, Daelin <Daelin> fuck the kittens <Zanshin> You.. Advocate.. KITTEN RAPING?

<zin> i lost 8 thousend dollars today. :P <zin> who hates the market? :P <zin> i do :P

<ajax> War 3 pains me, becuase war 2 was so fun. <ajax> it's like seeing your drunken uncle who beats puppies.. <ajax> knowing he was at one time a war hero. :P

<Despoiler> I'm so fucking bored, I made a fuckign pac man :P <Despoiler> (°< · · · · · · · <minya> It needs a top and a bottom. :P <Despoiler> I can't think of any way to give it one :P <minya> _ <minya> (°< · · · · · · · <minya> _ <minya> .. :P <minya> Wait. :P <minya> _ <minya> (°< · · · · · · · <minya> THERE. :P <Despoiler> It's not very elegant. :P

Corporations have neither bodies to be punished, nor souls to be condemned, they therefore do as they like.

<Daelin> ^PMS: You made an account with everything2 four years ago, and never used it <psibawb> ^PMS: we demand to know why, now.

<fRy> I can't even respond to Mukluk anymore. :P <fRy> He jumps around.. a LOT. :P <Mukluk> WTF? :P <Mukluk> I'll cut your belly open. :P <Mukluk> Where is "moooshy"? :P <fRy> See? :P <fRy> Fucking ADD or something. :P <Mukluk> fRy: You know, sometimes, I walk around thinking about things. And when I think about things, it makes me upset. It makes me break out; I got hives on me. But that's all right. I've been working with AIDS-patients for about three years now, and I want to come over, and drink out of your glasses. <Crash-ed> What in the MOTHER FUCK. :) <fRy> See? :P <fRy> He's all over the place. :P <Mukluk> I'm on your roof, fRy.

VANCOUVER, Wash. -- A 23-year-old man, who was riding in a van and opening the slide door to throw rocks at mailboxes and cars, fell out of the van and died.

The items taken were worth about $3,500 and included jewelry, a bottle of perfume and a wine glass filled with seashells, according to court documents.

<fRy> This can't be good. <fRy> My hard drive just started screaming. <Deathreap> Game over, fry. :P <Deathreap> It's only a matter of time before the platter ejects itself through your case and into a loved one. :P

A is for fat, B is for fat, C is for fat. Flipping through these cards it appears D through Z is also for fat.

Folks the sun's atmosphere has expanded to engulf and destroy Mercury and Venus!!!!!!!! Can we please start working on a huge spaceship????????

You've made us the laughing stock of the entire quadrant.

I'm going to keep you in a box. Be my valentine.

<Despoiler> Fuck you Mukluk. :P <Despoiler> At least PMS does something useful for the world. :P <Despoiler> Parasites like Mukluk just leech off the liberty people like PMS secure for us. :P <Mukluk> ... :P <Despoiler> Every day, PMS risks his life so that we can enjoy our way of life. :P

<fRy> .. Get Warcraft3. :P <^phillip> when it is cheap :P <fRy> You can get it for 40 now I think. :P <fRy> Stop being so cheap anyway. :P <fRy> You buy DVDs like poptarts. :P

<bigboss> speaking of whores, I went to the mall today. <bigboss> fucking 12 year olds with thongs pulled up past their waist <bigboss> and "ANGEL" t shirts <bigboss> or "bad girl" on the ass of their pants

<ajax731> You're living the american dream as we speak. <ajax731> Salary + Computer + nothing to do.

I'm a rocker. I rock out.

Here's what all you kernel hackers have dreamed of: an x86-64 system simulator running under GNU/Linux! The simulator is only available as a binary RPM because it contains some proprietary code.

Every time you play an mp3, Fraunhofer gets closer to resurrecting HITLER!

Allahu Akbar

Crush All Hu-mans

Technology companies and individual experts can become NET Guard volunteers simply by agreeing to become part of a national database. That database will catalogue the companies, people, and resources — such as computers, software, wireless devices or biohazard detection equipment available to be called on at a moment's notice.

<nihil> A double major in engineering. :P <DrNight> What kind of engineering? <nihil> Aerospace and ocean. <DrNight> Are you going to engineer a flying submarine?

<Moneo> Woah woah. :P <Moneo> I don't want to hear about your mom's menopause. :P <ulv> WTF is menopause? :P <DrNight> I hope you aren't seriously asking that.

<Deathreap> WTF? I died for you, phillip. And this is what I get? :P <ajax731> Actually, shamson died for OUR sins. :P <Deathreap> Even the necropedobeastopyrofecophilia? :P <Deathreap> Man, I can still remember that day we set that dead baby seal on fire and then had sex with it while smearing it's feces all over us, ajax. :P

The day you see her, a lovely stranger you only pray that soon you'll know her name You finally touch her, then you're in danger it won't be long until you feel the pain your emotions will overtake you, you'll look for heaven in her big brown eyes but she's no angel, and she'll forsake you It shouldn't come as any great surprise

Someday a real rain will come and wash all this scum off the streets.

True communication is possible only between equals, because inferiors are more consistently rewarded for telling their superiors pleasant lies than for telling the truth.

The World Is My Country, To Do Good Is My Religion

Truth is Information.

Suspicion breeds confidence.

Be safe -- Be suspicious.

Liberty, Equality, Fraternity, Information.

Eternal vigilance is the price of prosperity.

Regret nothing -- Report everything.

Loose talk is noose talk. Be a live patriot, not a dead traitor.

Be alert -- Some terrorists look normal.

Is there a suspect in your family? Contact the Ministry of Information. Ring 100 00 00.

Trust in haste, regret at leisure. Trust in leisure, regret in haste.

Don't suspect a friend -- Report him.

Beware before -- Beware after.

Trust in Security.

Holy Christables.

If I were an HTTP status code I would be 402 Payment Required

<ajaxulv> i bet europe smells different. <ajaxulv> hrm, i know how to get to the bottom of this. <ajaxulv> Despoiler: could you identify the smell of raw sewage if you came in contact with it? :P <Despoiler> What? :P <ajax> I rest my case. :P <ajax> You can't identify the smell becuase it is ever-present. :P <Despoiler> I've never had to smell raw sewage. :P <Despoiler> No, wait, I have, yes I smelt it quite clearly when I was going down on ajax's mother. :P <ajax> Now who exactly is that supposed to reflect poorly on? :P

Starting in a very short while, all new music published by RIAA members will feature TuneBlock™, a method whereby special harmonics included in the songs will erase all memory of the melody, chords, and words from your mind shortly after you hear it, leaving nothing but a pleasant sensation of having enjoyed something.

Prince Alaweed, a member of the Saudi royal family, is reportedly a major backer of ART. He made headlines in the United States last year when he tried to donate $10 million to the World Trade Center relief effort, but was rebuffed by then New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani after saying U.S. support for Israel in part prompted the Sept. 11 attacks.

<BloodDong> zaurg: I was raised in a Christian family. Seeing these, a year after my parents remarried from their divorce, was for some reason tough to swallow at the time. I mean, why would my dad have porn on his computer if he loved my mother? :P <BloodDong> Of course.. :P <BloodDong> I know this thinking was entirely asinine now. :P <BloodDong> We had an Amiga with 4096 color HAM mode. :P <BloodDong> It was the ultimate in porn viewing for its day. :P

<ajaxulv> Shamson is a highly trained soldier. :P <ajaxulv> unfortunately, the defination of soldier has been signifigantly widened in recent years.. <ajaxulv> To include people sitting at computer terminals in the geographic center of the US. :P

<boomz> apparently.. 'theResistance' is on the top CIA list. <boomz> what are the chances.. that #theresistance @efnet shows up on ANY cia or fbi document somewhere.. <boomz> are any of you law enforcement agents :P <redek> boomz: I have a police uniform.....but thats mostly just for sexual purposes :P

<mynx> i feel it is my duty to report <mynx> mental actually said "make the sound!" <Serfer> mynx: eh? what sound? <mynx> serfer, earlier i mentioned that in the car on the way home mental asked me how to pronounce HULAGHGAHLHGAG <DarkIdol> so mynx proceeded to HUAGLAGU mental? <mynx> then, there i was minding my own business giving him a blowjob <mynx> and he goes "hey, make that sound!" <mynx> and i did <bai> did you record it? <DarkIdol> we want solid proof! <mynx> you know you have reached a certain point of comfort in a marriage when you can work jerkcity jokes into your sexlife <bai> we want mynx-gargling-cock.ogg <mynx> hahaha <mynx> sorry :P

<Walter> I did not watch my buddies die face down in the muck so that this fucking strumpet-- <The Dude> I don't see any connection to Vietnam, Walter. <Walter> Well, there isn't a literal connection, Dude.

This is not 'Nam. This is bowling. There are rules.

I used to bullseye womp rats in my T16 back home. They're not much bigger than two meters.

<Wurzle> god it would rule if a chick raped me... she'd be like "GET DOWN AND GET YER PANTS OFF" and id be like "please dont hurt me" but really id be thinking "WOO NOOKIE!"

Whoa. Back up. Now, what happened on Sept. 11?

<mynx> when i was a senior in highschool, this little sophomore had a crush on me <mynx> one day i opened my locker and he'd put a Mr. Big cd in there <mynx> with a note that said "track 11" <mynx> (or whatever it was)

<ajax> Admiral Akbar... <ajax> The greatest military mind of the Rebel Alliance. :P <ajax> With such brilliant insight as "IT'S A TRAP" and "MOVE TEH FLEET AWAY FROM TEH DETHSHSHTAR"

<fRy> What do you expect dude she's a fucking 17 year old girl. :P <fRy> She's not going to come on here and colonpee it up whilst talking about the latest photoshop contest or jeffk on sa. :P

<blodulv> Just got back from dinnAR with my dad who was smashed and in asshole-mode. It's his birthday too. :P

<z0rg> mukluk, fRy is a chick <Mukluk> WTF? :P <z0rg> fRy is fRy's neighbor, supposedly <fRy> i amm <fRy> im 17... my name is michelle <z0rg> you know, the one we saw the videos of, mukluk? <Mukluk> Oh. :P <Mukluk> Yes. :P <Mukluk> We have seen many films of you. :P <fRy> lol <fRy> omgggggg <Mukluk> WTF? :P <z0rg> she has just migrated from AOL <Mukluk> Evidence abounds. :P

<blodulv> OH MY GOD I JUST PLAYED QUAKE 3 ... HEY MY DAD HAS A RIFLE LETS GO KILL COPS. :D <ajax> I prove the video game to violence path is bullshit. <ajax> Me and millions others. <blodulv> I play violent video games and I'm a fucking pacifist. :P <ajax> I'm full of hate, but i don't have the means nor the will. :P <ajax> So long as the future exists, violence isn't an option. :P

A wild and intense series filled with blood and tentacle rape sex. What is tentacle rape sex you might ask? It's the act of a demon with a multitude of really long tentacle penises that force sex with hot Asian girls. This is a live action series of movies that are violent and highly erotic due to deepthroating of demon penises.

<fRywork> HOW DARE THAT WOMAN MAKE ME WALK TO HER DESK AND SHOW HER HOW TO USE WINZIP WHILST I WAS IRCING#$!#$^#$^

<moooshy> oh..no. <moooshy> we don't do that. <moooshy> we're straight missionary. <zin> wtf? :P <moooshy> that's how you fuck for god. <zin> sucks to be swango :P <moooshy> missionary's where it's at, dwango, right? <zin> no man like missionary :P <dwango> hahaha <moooshy> dwango loves it. <moooshy> it's all he's ever known. <dwango> missionary is the worst fucking position ever <moooshy> you told me you liked it! <moooshy> what the hell have we been doing for the past 14 months?

I would like for my toilet to be deeper. I.E. for the poop to fall farther. The fall should be long enough that the poop is scared.

<ajax> Some people...have the idea that evolution is a fucking system of... <ajax> "oh i need flippers, i'd better grow some" type bullshit. :P <ajax> It's more like "Oh shit look at that freak over there with the flippers hahaha OH SHIT I AM DROWNING OH GOD SAVE ME FLIPPER BOY".

<BloodSwan> I hacked into my uncle's account on a local BBS, because he had adult access. :P <BloodSwan> I would logon with my 1200 baud modem, start a download onto a floppy disk .. :P <BloodSwan> And then place the floppy disk under my mattress first thing in the morning. :P

<BloodSwan> I remember .. the first time I saw nude pictures on my computer. :P <BloodSwan> I was so disdained that I thought my father didn't love my mother. :P

<zaurg> nooooooooooooooooooooo! all my queued porn is expired!

<Lafarga> Microsoft killed my parents... They were killed in a horrible buffer overrun accident...

Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones. - Psalm 137:9

<fRy> The other night me and my friends were drinking at my hot neighbors house out back with her heated pool.. having a good time.. we were all fucked up.. some nice chicks around.. and I was talking about how I wanted to fuck this one chick and my friend who is by NO MEANS Internet nerdy or anything said "Dude.. yeah.. get the fucking powerup and win the game" :P

<zin> i am more strapping than you :P <Despoiler> Sure you are, glowstick boy :P <Despoiler> The only strap you have is to keep your pacifier round your neck. :P

They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety. - Benjamin Franklin

<BloodWork> I've been throwing my life away into this fucking void since probably 93. :P <BloodWork> Holy fuck. :P <BloodWork> That's a long fucking time ago. :P <fuzznutz> I've been IRC'ing since 96. :P

All you motherfuckers are gonna pay, You are the ones who are the ball-lickers. We're gonna fuck your mothers while you watch and cry like little bitches. Once we get to Hollywood and find those Miramax fucks who are making that movie, we're gonna make 'em eat our shit, then shit out our shit, then eat their shit which is made up of our shit that we made 'em eat. Then you're all fucking next. Love, Jay and Silent Bob

<ajax> france probably has gay names for all their ranks. <ajax> like...le captain....and le colonel...and le major. <ajax> le seargent., <Caqula> le fagotier general <ajax> le master de surrender.

Fly me to the moon, and let me play among the stars Let me see what spring is like on jupiter and mars In other words, hold my hand In other words, darling, kiss me

momma, why do i always fall for the crazy ones momma, why do they weigh so heavy on my heart well I'm drawn to the devil, every time we kiss momma, why do the crazy ones make me feel like this

You forget, Peter, I was present at an undersea, unexplained, mass sponge migration.

Bally Jerry, pranged his kite right in the how's-your-father; hairy blighter, dicky-birded, feathered back on his sammy, took a waspy, flipped over on his Betty Harper's and caught his can in the Bertie.

Bunch of monkeys on the ceiling, sir! Grab your egg-and-fours and let's get the bacon delivered!

<ar5WRK> STFU STUPID CUSTOMER I HATE YOU GIVE ME ADDRESS SO I CAN BASH YOU IN THE HEAD WITH A PIPE AHAHAHAHA PROBLEM SOLVED FUCKFACE!#$!#$!

<Skeeter> when I try to start quake3 I get this.... GLW_StartOpenGL() - could not load OpenGL subsystem <Skeeter> anyone got a clue? <ZOOT> you certainly do not

Would you like to swing on a star Carry moonbeams home in a jar And be better off than you are Or would you rather be a fish?

Fear is the mindkiller. Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration.

<Moneo> We have a defcon...we have another warning dealy and now a terrorism alert color. :P <danp> they should have had a special "black" level for people traveling through the hood. :P

<Caqula> I was going to say, i found some pr0n of some chick who looks like you, and her name is Melanie. :P <danp> that's not a good thing to tell a girl, Caqula. :P

Pain? Pain is like love ... Like compassion! It is a thing only for lesser men. What is pain to Doom?

There's no money, there's no possession, only obsession, I don't need that shit.

The whole business with the squeeking and the cheese is just a front.

Pointed stick? Oh, oh, oh. We want to learn how to defend ourselves against pointed sticks, do we? Getting all high and mighty, eh? Fresh fruit not good enough for you eh? Well I'll tell you something my lad. When you're walking home tonight and some great homicidal maniac comes after you with a bunch of loganberries, don't come crying to me!

<ajax731> Why don't they have one somewhere exciting? :P <ajax731> Somehwere where their actual survival is in jeopardy. :P <fuzznutz> SURVIVAR 5 IN TEH JERUSALEM

i remember the first time i saw pms at netdoor. i was going to ask havard about something and i saw him. my first thought was, "damn, that guy looks like jesus." so when i returned to the holy tech room of torture (TM), i asked, "man, who's that jesus guy over there?" matta laughed.

NEW FEELINGS BREWING IN DUFFMAN. WHAT... WOULD JESUS DO?

<`SaTiP> eggdrop 1.6.7+win32 <`SaTiP> someone can help me plz ? <`SaTiP> i'am french boy and i'am a newbies

<mynx> i was at a party today <mynx> and i'm standing there talking to this guy and his brother <mynx> and the guy goes "hey, this is the gal who met her husband in quake" <mynx> "oh and she's the one i was telling you about, has the one named fer her in q3a" <mynx> the guy's brother goes "oh? which one?" <mynx> and i'm trying to figure out a way to run away <mynx> and i mumble "mynx" <mynx> and his eyes drop immediately to my tits * mynx sighs <mynx> i was so embarrassed :P

Jackie Treehorn treats objects like women, man.

<zin> mynx? Isnt she that chick that was cool 5 years ago? when all those quake players got a stiffy for her, just cause she was a chick? then she got taken off the market by some mental case. And the world mourned? NEO! NEW EFNET ORDER!

<costanza^> i'm not deleting, i'm burning <costanza^> archiving <costanza^> storing porn for the winter

We can't find Osama because Arthur Andersen fucking shreadded him!

<Mukluk> Man. :P <Mukluk> The guys hired a stripper for me today. :P <Mukluk> Except she didn't strip. :P <Mukluk> Hmmm. She wasn't even a woman. :P <Mukluk> And she beat the crap out of me. :P <Mukluk> I think I was mugged. :P

<moooshy> i don't think you should say that.

You know, Dude, I myself dabbled with pacifism at one point. Not in Nam, of course--

Hello, I'm Leonard Nimoy. The following tale of alien encounters is true. And by true, I mean false. It's all lies. But they're entertaining lies. And in the end, isn't that the real truth? The answer... is no.

<^PMS> wget -c :P <zin> your conversational skills are somewhat lacking :P

<zaurg> oh man <nihil> Oh man. <zaurg> i REALLY feel like going on a massive shopping spree <zaurg> god there is so much crap i need, i really really need <zaurg> and there is $1,500 sitting in my bank account, just sitting there waiting to be spent <zaurg> what do you think about that, despoiler <Despoiler> I think you will never have sex with a real woman.

<ajax731> Air Marshall Shamson! <Despoiler> Bomber Shamson :P -long argument over ww2 .uk vs .de air and sea battle possibilities breaks out-

"Our show badges identify us as Microsoft employees, so of course people always take some pokes at us," said one Microsoft employee who plans to be present at the show. "But we're used to it, and at least at Linux events the ragging is usually pretty good-natured. It's MacWorld that's really rough."

Note: That banner ad with a phone ringing sound. That is a mess up on UGO's part and it should be removed today, if it's not gone by this afternoon I'll just pull all the UGO ads until they can assure me that it's out of rotation. My apologies. - shacknews.com

Cherchez la femme

Due to significant changes in recent versions of the Netscape browser, certain portions of the Create Adobe PDF Online site are incompatible with Netscape browsers version 6 or higher. Please refrain from using such browsers until we indicate our support for those versions.

Drinks hinder training. They weaken mentality. They check one's advance in life. - Japanese saying

<SrA Kling> Hey, that´s my drink. <Doctor> I know. *slurp*

Futurama, Season 2 Episode 3 <Zap Brannigan> The key to victory is discipline, and that means a well made bed. You will practice until you can make your bed in your sleep. <Fry> You mean while I'm sleeping in it? <Zap Brannigan> You won´t have time for sleeping, soldier, not with all the bed making you´ll be doing.

It must just be some local fisherman out for a pleasure cruise alone at night through shark-infested waters.

One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them, One Ring to bring them all and in the Darkness bind them.

What the piss?!?

Obviously you're not a golfer.

Yeah, well. The Dude abides.

Ngullabulngan

<fRy> People who make you 'select a country' on websites.. and don't have the USA on top.. they have it alphabetical... should be shot.

<bagel> one time i was driving down there road, and there was a white van with out of state plates and NO windows driving alongside me and my friend, this guy hangs out the passenger side with a video camera and says that he has a case of beer if me and my friend want to party <z0rg> did you go with him?

Activate the hydrogen recombiners!

<ajax> We can do this. :P <fRy> The time has come. :P <ajax> We can BE THE VERY BEST. :P <ajax> LIKE NO ONE EVER WAS. <fRy> Our glory hour is nigh. :P

<Deathreap> My squirrels had babies. <Norbule> so Deathreap when do you plan on cooking up those squirrels? :P <Deathreap> Shut the fuck up, Norbule. :P

I can just see the programmers saying "Yes, we can make this product twice as fast, it will just take us 18 months of work", then sitting back and playing Quake while Moore's law grinds on.

<nihil> Phillip is much better than google. <ajax731> phillip IS google. :P

<minja> Why are you wasting money on gadgets when you need it to survive? :P

<fRy> Yeah I love the video card monopoly. <fRy> It has already started. <fRy> Six hundred bucks for a video card. <fRy> For fucks sake.

<Norbule> my page file? :P <Norbule> you mean the swap file thing? :P <fRy> Yes, dumbass. :P

<nihil> Holy SHIT. <nihil> I get 350k to boomz. <nihil> Fucking christ I love you.

Who can afford to do professional work for nothing? What hobbyist can put 3-man years into programming, finding all bugs, documenting his product and distribute for free? -- Bill Gates, 1976

<nihil> I mean. <nihil> I feel like a fucking asshole and a loser. <nihil> But then I just read phillip's page. :P <nihil> And I feel like a million dollars. :P

<Moneo> Google is just a huge link database to phillip's website. =P

"It's the business model around free software that concerns us, where people get sucked in to not paying for software," Doug Miller, group product manager for the Windows Server Group, told eWeek's Peter Galli. "This will be a disservice for them, as they need established, well-funded companies to offer innovation."

<vapid> dude <vapid> AOL Instant Messenger is goddamn annoying <vapid> i don't fucking care if some chick i never talk to at school wants to go to the prom <vapid> why is she asking me what she should do?

<fRy> kind of like telling some dude on the street "i rooted your moms box" and giggling because only you get it

The collector, who has thousands of mixes, sometimes trades via FTP. But he doesn't store mixes on his server, partly because they take up so much space, but also because it might be broken into. "(It's a) good reason for people to crack into your site for free music," he said.

To disable JavaScript in Microsoft Outlook and Outlook Express takes about 15 steps, which are outlined on the privacy foundation Web site at www.privacyfoundation.org. The newest version of Outlook Express comes with JavaScript turned off, as a result of customer feedback, a Microsoft spokesman said.

<fRy> If I had a p4 1.4ghz and 512 megs of Corsair rdram and 120 gigs of hard drive space I wouldn't be hanging out with you fucking losers. :P <ajax731> We've been played for fools. :P <fRy> Yes. Big time. :P <ajax731> You'd be hanging out with all the "cool irc'ers". :P <fRy> Ahaha. Yes ajax. :P <fRy> The in crowd. :P <ajax731> You'd leave us AMD's in the ghetto. :P

<dwango> i am going to learn how to get bows and arrows and horses some day

*** fRy- changes topic to 'Phillp A.K.A, ^PMS, Shamson, Shammy, Pip, The Roach.. :P'

<fRy> OH MY GOD <fRy> AHAHAHAHAHAH <fRy> SUDDEN STRIKE PUTS SEVEN ICONS ON THE DESKTOP <fRy> THIS IS THE WORST FUCKING GAME EVER AND I HAVEN'T EVEN STARTED IT

<fRy> You don't have magical canadian gasoline. :P <fRy> That falls from magical canadian clouds. :P <fRy> MAGICAL CLOUDS!$^!^$##!$^ <fRy> YOU M OTHERFUCKER#!@$^#^$!@

<Moneo> How much is a gallon of gas? =P <Deathreap> 65 cents a liter <Moneo> A FUCKING GALLON YOU DIRTY WHORE.

<zin> paladins have the same 15% bonus to infantry. <nihil> Your mom does. <zin> exact same bonus as cataphracts. <zin> Just because they are cavalry. <nihil> Your mom is cavalry.

<minya> The children. :P <minya> That live next door. :P <minya> Are going to be murdered. By my hand. :P

<ar5on> I cryed at the end of ET. <ar5on> And Southpark. <Bargeld> i cried at the end of the transformers movie. <ar5on> DUDE! <ar5on> So did i. <ar5on> I cryed at the end of T2. :P <DeadRinga> the T2 ending was sad. :P <ar5on> Yeah.

<ajax731> It is true, fRy. <fRy> Dude c'mon. :P <ajax731> I NEVER jerk off. <ajax731> It's a sin. <fRy> Ahahaha. Fuck you man you're supposed to be on my side. :P <ajax731> I'm sorry fRy, you know i am on Jesus's side, first and foremost. :P

<ajax731> Mukluk doesn't jerkoff either. :P <danp> yeah, right. :P <ajax731> It is true. :P <ajax731> He is on fire for Jesus, much like me. :P <fRy> Haha. Dude. Come on. :P <phillip> I love Jesus also :P <phillip> and bathe fully clothed :P <ajax731> See? <ajax731> Shamson is not a sinner. :P

<Moneo> You're a sad, sad little man. =P

<ajax731> Dude... <ajax731> I'm tired of ~30 FPS. <ajax731> 30 FPS is for fucking tools. <ajax731> I want 213123 FPS. <ajax731> Like all the other kids. :P

* phillip forages for food <jabowah> phillip is stalkink zee viley zandvich.

... A friend of his built a network with a load of Macs and a few high-powered database servers. He found that from time to time the whole network would lock up for no apparent reason. The problem was eventually tracked down to MacOS's cooperative multitasking: when a user held down the mouse button for too long, the network stack wouldn't get a chance to run...

<Deathreap> You know that duke nukem is real far along when they just hired a new artist to work on it. :P <Deathreap> 3D Realms fucking sucks. :P

<fRy> Ajax constantly is making it clear his knowledge of motherboards and processors isn't exactly astounding. :P <ajax> Should i overclock it before installing it? :P

<Deathreap> You're not going to OC. :P <ajax> Want to fucking bet? :P <Deathreap> You couldn't overclock your wristwatch. :P <danp> harsh. :P <fRy> .. But true. :P

<Moneo> phillip keeps a scrapbook of IRC related events. =P <fRy> i bet he does, man <fRy> he looks at logs.. and tears form.. and he whispers.. "good times...."

<mynx> i think ed may not actually exist <mynx> ed is like phillip's tyler durden <mynx> and they're all like... first rule of phillip's wrestling club... you do not talk about phillip's wrestling club

<gibbler> i am basically an op without the @

<Mukluk> What the fuck happened to "chochi"? :P <minja> Suicide. :P <Mukluk> Oh? :P <Mukluk> Is this true? :P <phillip> we can only hope :P <fRy> Nay. :P <fRy> He went off to college. :P <Mukluk> What's he studying? :P <fRy> How to not be a fucking queer. :P <fRy> Apparently he's failing. :P

<Deathreap> Anyone who doesn't like metal and is male is either A) Homosexual, B) So effeminate that they should BE homosexual, or C) A raver. :P <Deathreap> C) is almost the same answer as a and b. :P

Then you love a little wild one, and she brings you only sorrow All the time you know she's smilin', you'll be on your knees tomorrow

<TGR> holy patch, lunix man! to the kernelmobile!

<Lafarga> Anyway. My boss is pissed. I think that if I wasn't the only thing holding the network together, he probably would have fired me by now. It's nice to be competent.

<fRy> For crying out loud. I'm still banned from Isketch. :P <fRy> This is horseshit. :P

<skOt> u will fear whut im about to do <skOt> im gunan hack a street light <skOt> brb

<dwango> woo bush is gonna speak at 10 <ajax731> Yeah. :P <ajax731> I hope he does a little dance. <ajax731> Like the robot or something.

<fRy> Sigh. <fRy> Where is xexon. <fRy> Last night he messages me all "WOW LONG TIEM NO SEE!#@%#!@" <fRy> blah etc <fRy> I let him download a Dreamcast game from my ftp.. <fRy> Now, fourteen hours later, he's still leeching.

<chunkk> dude...my hard drive is making noises.....coolio..are you fuckin hackin my shit? <Coolio> chunkk, i swear, no way <chunkk> coolio...why dont move to hollywood or some shit..and get a movie deal <Serfer> chunkk: because a movie about a guy that sits at home and drinks cough syrup wouldn't be any fun

<rbw> okay... so like... i head upstairs because the contracting firm's on-site rep asked me to come up to her office. she hands me a disk and a piece of paper with instructions on it. the disk is supposed to be used to wipe out all data from the contracting firm's old computers before they are disposed of. i boot up with the disk... and i am greeted with the prompt from format.com. THEY ARE USING A 'FORMAT /Q' COMMAND TO WIPE OUT SENSITIVE DATA. HELLO?!

<minya> Who remembers the BASIC rules of algebra. :P <phillip> xxx = (.)(.)

<danp> irc.freebsd.org is the best EFnet server ever. :P <danp> i've been connected since SATURDAY. it's a modern miracle of technology. :P <bludwulf> word to motherfucking irc.freebsd.org :P <danp> and it's fast as hell :P

Hundreds of people freeze to death in Russia every year. Officials say most are homeless people or those who pass out on the streets after drinking alcohol.

<ajax2312> I'm a kitty.

<BlooDMooN> I got to play giants, tribes 2 and sacrifice at comdex :) <BlooDMooN> Giants is awesome, tribes needs to be optimized and sacrifice didn't look as good as all the movies and previews made it out to be <BlooDMooN> I saw serious slowdown in tribes2 and it was running on a p4 1.4/1.5ghz machine with a geforce2, and it might've been an ultra

<Revolver> I am not some asshole who doesn't know how to connect to a network game... <Revolver> something is fucked up.

       ___               __         __  __
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 / __  / / _ \   / __ \/ /_  /    / __/ __ \| |/_/
/ /_/ / /  __/  / /_/ / / / /_   / /_/ / / />  <
\__,_/_/\___/  / .___/_/ /___/   \__/_/ /_/_/|_|
              /_/

<Moneo> Thought you were going to a LANparty, phillip? =P <phillip> yes :P <minya> You aren't going outside, are you? :P <Moneo> He's constructed a tunnel to the place. =P

I'd like to complain about this porn video. It's got no jerkoffable girls. Or however you say it. I don't know all the legal mumbo jumbo.

<ajax> www.cnn.com/2000/ALLPOLITICS/...president/large.ballot.ap.jpg <ajax> Hi i don't know how to vote please send me East to the death camps.

<uncola> if I want a kid I'll go to malaysia and buy one <uncola> I don't want to pass on my genes.. they're awful. I want some hard working malaysian 7 year old who assembles motherboards

<fRy> I finally got pissed. :P <fRy> And E-Mailed my mom. :P <fRy> And said "PLEASE STOP ABBREVIATING THREE AND FIVE LETTER WORDS ON THE INTERNET." :P <fRy> My biggest annoyance. :P <fRy> She uses 'pls'. :P

<uncola> ok I Just switched my homepage from stileproject to mynx.com

<Frostfire> see this is hell <Frostfire> 56k modem <Frostfire> knowing there's pron out there calling my name.. whispering to me <Frostfire> taunting me cause it'll take me a week to download it

<Deathreap> I have to clean the kitchen tomorrow. :P <Deathreap> There's a swarm of fruit flies in there that attacks you upon sight. :P <Deathreap> I'll have to go in with some bleach in a spray bottle and shoot them from the skies. :P

<fRy> I fucking RAPE usenet, dude. :P <fRy> Usenet is the gutter of the internet. That's why it rocks. :P

<bludwulf> driven to the margin of error. :P <phillip> Rush :P <bludwulf> yes. :P

<xbi> u peopel dont know shit

<mynx> oh man i was out with some friends <mynx> and i said something about pr0n <mynx> and my best friend from high school (blonde) says 'huh? what's that?' <mynx> and her husband goes 'oh man.. it's like this whole underground hacker language' <mynx> and he was serious

got wang

* dg- imagines a pulp fiction sequel where Phillip and Mynx go on a crime spree <dg-> of course lactation doesnt make being on the run very easy I bet

* kix0red Are U Looking for some P@wer? Better than mafia, more P@WeRFuL than APoWeRBasE, a ScRiPt that can Hack IRCop Status and Servers? A ScRiPt that is on many sitez at the top10? I am using LeGeNdaRy ScRiPt Version 6.0 Gold Edition * kix0red Get it at Http://www.cbytes.com This baby will Give U 100% Protection and 1000% War!

<nihil> I just got an email from somone who said 'u' at least 10 times. :P

<LiquidSYS> I think I'll share a story of my advancement today. I have physics with the chick I like, and we were doing some group projects or some shit, and she actually picked me to be in her group, which is core by itself, but then later on we were talking about people and how two ugly people have a cute kid and vice versa, and then she said I was good looking and shit. Mr. Winky nearly ripped through my retina and pee'd on my brain. <fRy> You're so fucking sad. :P

<z0rg> WHO FUCKING KICKED ME GODDAMNIT <^PMS> i cannot tell a lie. it was fRy. <fRy> Yeah I hacked into the ircd and did it while unopped. :P * fRy leet hax0r <z0rg> fRy will die. and I will eat some pie. <fRy> z0rg wears socks and sucks meaty cocks. :P

<Zanshin> phillip... the man, the principles, the REBELLIOUS ARTIST GENIUS SEX GOD WHO SACRAFICED HIS ABILITY TO WATCH SOME PRON FOR HIS PRINCIPLES

<Moneo> What a fucking piece of shit quicktime is. <Moneo> It retook png format and fucking won't give it up now AND IT ISN'T EVEN INSTALLED. <Moneo> Like, I see remnants of it on my system, THAT SHOULDN'T FUCKING BE THERE BECAUSE I UNINSTALLED THE PIECE OF SHIT, and that remaining bullshit is still active.

Subject: kernel32.dll?? This file is causing me probs with a microsft basketball game. I tried deleting it, but there is no wasy to do that. So, can anyone explain me what is that, what's for and the way can i delete it.

<Dipstick> one thing I don't like about this college <Dipstick> is when the deaf students have sex <Dipstick> it's the loudest thing EVAR <Dipstick> since they can't hear themselves scream

Sorry guys, hardly anybody uses shell access anymore. Why should a company try to keep supporting a dying technology? That's not how to get ahead. I think it's time for all of you to sit down and learn how to navigate the web.

"...The Bill of Rights is a literal and absolute document. The First Amendment doesn't say you have a right to speak out unless the government has a 'compelling interest' in censoring the Internet. The Second Amendment doesn't say you have the right to keep and bear arms until some madman plants a bomb. The Fourth Amendment doesn't say you have the right to be secure from search and seizure unless some FBI agent thinks you fit the profile of a terrorist. The government has no right to interfere with any of these freedoms under any circumstances." - Harry Browne, 1996 USA presidential candidate, Libertarian Party

<ajax> hi., <ajax> im phillip. <ajax> and my ftp doesn't resume files. <ajax> so when ajax has a power outage. <ajax> at 90% complete. <ajax> he's fucked!

I will not be able to view your 21MB AVI attachment, I had to abort the download.

<Zanshin> I bet dg is a nice old fashioned girl who lays there and spreads her legs and thinks about horses and puppies and carousels while you do her missionary.

<Lafarga> If I'm still on IRC in ten years, everybody has permission to kill me.

<almostg0d> 3dfx Announces the same old shit, again. <almostg0d> with new and improved same old shit.

COME WITH ME ON A TRANCELADELIC EXCURSIONAL ODYSSEY OF ELECTRONICA!!!!!! BEEP DOOP

<djgirl> anyone seen my sis? <Deathreap> djgirl: She's in the channel right now. :P <Mukluk> djgirl: She gave us a message for you, though. <djgirl> what's that mukluk? <Mukluk> You need to call her IMMEDIATELY. There's been an accident. <Desdemona> Mukfuck :P <Mukluk> God damn it. :P <djgirl> shut up *** Mukluk was kicked by Desdemona (god, you're an idiot)

<fRy> Sigh... <fRy> My adsl was installed today.. but they only provisioned the line without filters or something.. so now.. my adsl doesn't work.. and.. my line has so much noise on it that my dialup doesn't work.. <fRy> It was like the fucking phone company said <fRy> "Hey, we're not content with him not having dsl anymore. Let's rip the remaining shreds of fucking life from him. Kill the line." <fRy> So.. I'm like.. connected at 1200 baud and shit. <fRy> If I type too much I'll probably smurf myself.

Conan, what is best in life? To crush your enemies, to see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentations of their women.

<uncola> I was around 7.. on the big playground.. someone gave me a spoon that had some brown powder in it and said "try it, it's chocolate milk powder" <uncola> and I tried it.. but it was dirt

I traval evarywhere on a giant floating check!!!

One programmer, who had to write the code to calculate the height of a line of text, simply wrote 'return 12;' and waited for the bug report to come in.

<uncola> skim milk is lame <uncola> I just noticed I'm drinking it <arafel> it's like white water <arafel> complete waste of time

Mankind evolved from unicorns.

In June, MP3.com settled with Time Warner and BMG Entertainment. The companies get 1.5 cents each time a consumer stores a song using My.MP3.com and one-third of a cent each time the consumer listens to the song.

<Spaz0r> Ooh, the stress, I just got to work and now I have to go out for lunch. <Spaz0r> And when I get back I have to browse the web for four hours, argh.

It seems that one of my servants has struck a local towns-man with a cinder-block and the viceroy wishes to detain him.

<Deathreap> It just looks like a pic of a chick to me. :P <bludwulf> its a pic of a chick wearing a Rush T-Shirt(TM) :P

<fRy> Just got back from doctor. 103 temp, strep throat, worlds biggest needle in my arm. :P <Bargeld> shit. did you fuck a prostitute? <fRy> Strep throat isn't an STD, asshole. :P <fRy> Why does everything with you come from fucking whores. :P

<Jamesbai> I think my boss is gonna call me in 3 hours and ask how to set up email accounts in outlook express <Jamesbai> HI I AEM DUM PLZ K THX

<rbw> SOMEONE BREAK JON KATZ'S FINGERS K PLZ THX

At his trial, Ray admitted to assaulting the sheep and other animals in the past but claimed he didn't kill the two sheep and believed the sex was consensual, public defender Debby Kirkwood said.

<nihil> GOD FUCK SHIT <nihil> IF SOMEONE WANTS TO JUMP OFF A BRIDGE LET THEM <nihil> DONT MAKE ME SIT ON THE BRIDGE FOR TWO FUCKING HOURS IN TRAFFIC <nihil> FUCKING PUSH THEM OFF

<nihilwrk> GOD <nihilwrk> I HATE NT4 <nihilwrk> AND OUTLOOK <nihilwrk> STOP BEING GAY

Come on, now: Are you really going to let some silly trio of colored lights tell you how to drive your car?

TEAPOT DOME SCANDAL!

<_Gina> what is wrong with this channel <_Gina> wtf is wrong with you people <_Gina> don't touch my guestbook you fag

DUMB_AOL_SLUT (3:45:57 PM): My best friend who has been really sluty latly sucking a llot of dick fucked some guy she had jsut met, she was a virgin and now she thinks she is all better than me even though i chose not to have sex. she is driving me crazy acting all suppirior and shit!

<^PMS> this is a pretty good camera <dg-> PMS: let me know when you get naked... :P <dg-> wait.. I didnt say that

<acidrain_> can someone DCC me notepad.exe/sol.exe <Ichabod-> how did you lose solitaire and notepad? <S|lentBob> "How to rebuild your windows installation, one file at a time."

<SMARTEY MAN JOHN ROMEREO> helo, tree? will yuo work for me at ION Storm? what about yuo, rock? pleas?

Court papers, which were unsealed in Manhattan federal court, alleged Torricelli was the head of a hacker group known as '#conflict' and that he used the name 'rolex'.

A new fashion craze is threatening air safety in Norway -- teenagers are stealing seatbelts to keep up their baggy trousers.

<fRy> Phillip isn't normal. At all. :P

DONT EMALE ME EVAR!!!!

"Sorry, our web site is currently unavailable."

THE COMPUTAR IZ NOT A HAT!

<mynx> hello fellow partially eaten fish <mynx> i had some wackass dream last night <mynx> some of you may have your theories, but let me tell you, being chased by ole phillip over there, demanding you eat some peanut butter, is really scary

<Elementl1> I learned to never open links in #quake after seeing _Stinger for the first time.

HaLLLo Linux Spezalisten!

For YOUR protection, a video record of you and your establishment is being transmitted and recorded at remote locations. All criminal acts prosecuted.

<nihil`> Women should be made sterile at birth and allowed only to have kids through a special operation.

<fRy> Guess fucking what. :P <fRy> About half an hour ago. :P <fRy> This chick I fucked a few times. :P <fRy> Told me she was late on her fucking period. :P

<Beef-Cake> Um, why is my voodoo 2 sli set up so washed-out looking? <^PMS> Beef-Cake, that's how it looks <Beef-Cake> i was expecting my sli setup to look l33t and shit, but it looks gay

Former major leaguer Pedro Guerrero was acquitted of drug conspiracy charges Tuesday, after his attorney argued that his low IQ prevented him from understanding that he had agreed to a drug deal.

ahhhhhhhhhh. the atmosphere. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

<sdodson> how do i find how wide the window is in java? <inActiveX> phone://numlookup(sun microsystems)/tech_person?query=How%20do%20I%20find%20how%20wide %20the%20window%20is%20in%20Java ?

<Mukluk> Sierra issues fucking CD-keys without discretion through their technical support. :P

<nihilwrk> I think a fly crawled into my coke. <nihilwrk> And i just drank it. <Moneo> Sweet.

<Deathreap> What the fuck kind of cable doesn't have a static IP? :P <Deathreap> The useless kind. :P <Deathreap> That's what fucking kind. :P

<nihil`> SOMEONE INSTALLED SOME PROGRAM WITH 991432901920394032190 DIRECTORIES TO C:\ ON THIS COMPUTER <nihil`> ajlk;sdfa;lds

<samhain> i fucking rule <samhain> 4.3 gig ide drive no want to make partition tables? stuck at 5% ? HIT IT WITH A KNIFE <samhain> motherfucker made the partition! <samhain> then verifying drive integrity stuck at 8%? <samhain> HIT IT WITH A KNIFE <samhain> motherfuckers formatted and ready to roll now

Please do not use the term piracy, unless you believe downloading an MP3 is similar to boarding ships on the high seas, killing the men and raping the women. You can use other terms like "illegally sharing file".

<Mach5> IRC == I Repeat Classes

<[xpert]> is there a direct method to have your arm fall asleep?

<Norbule> i think i'm just going to lie here :P <Norbule> in my own pool of sweat :P <Norbule> fuckin dyin :P <Norbule> germans don't fucking believe in air conditioning :P <Norbule> the motherfucks :P <Norbule> i didn't join the military to be uncomfortable :P

<Mukluk> Fuck you, minya. :P <minya> Fuck that. Fuck you. :P <Mukluk> Wrong again. :P

<MegaIdol> minya, i been messing with the change code cuz of how zdoom sets user-variables, you have to cuss in his records, well i do. so fuck him, and fuck you with a rake. <MegaIdol> ajax731, fucking fuck you with the chick i'm trying to kill him! x^( which then made hitler happy! :-=). :p. <MegaIdol> ajax731, you are a snap on there, other media, well that is a robot who learns from what other say and responds to people. :p. <MegaIdol> Jamesbai, ajax731 needs to wake his bitch ass up and fuck you with the target code. <MegaIdol> nihil, mukluk is d 1 4 d b j givr no give b j givr no give b j cuz me b j 4 i need 2 c d 1 2 c d 1 2 c 4 d b j 4 i need 2 c 4 d b j 4 i need 2 c 4 d b j cuz me b j no more plz. k thx. plz.

"You wouldn't believe how many people microwaved their AOL CDs and sent them to AOL, saying 'Don't ever advertise in PC Accelerator ever again,'" said one former staffer.

WTF are you talking about, this thread has turned into a pure flame war 3 pages ago and you come up with this on-topic post... WTF?

Because, as we all know, the path that leads straight to hell is paved with lead minatures and polyhedral dice! - http://www.apostate.com/mst3k-dd/ddpage08.html

<fRy> Time for me to lie my weary head down. :P <fRy> In closing I would like to compose a song. :P <fRy> Entitled "Diddle-Dee-Dee" :P <fRy> Dynamically and in real-time. :P <fRy> "DIDDLE-DEE-DEE!! LOOK AT MEEE! I WOULD LIKE A CUP OF TEA, IT WOULD FILL ME WITH GLEE!! IF YOU WANT TO BE MY FRIEND, TO THE NEVER-END, THEN PLEASE COME SIT DOWN, AND WE'LL GO TO TOWN!! DIDDLE-DEE-DUM, ISN'T THIS FUN!! DANCING AND PRANCING AND SINGING ALONG?" :P <minya> That rocked, fRy. :P

But then the rotating, animated-gif, click-the-box, smash-the-fucking-monkey ad-banners started.

I don't bank-roll the goddamned Supreme Court so it can avidly participate in the undoing of our Republic's most ruth-less captains of industry! There is entirely too much ruth as it is!

Subject: Egomaniac Why is PMS allowed to kick me for using the Deathmonitor. Seems he doesn't like it. That's fine, but this is a public server, not his personal Quake2 server. It doesn't seem fair that he can impose his likes and dislikes on the rest of the players. <Zanshin> philip: hahahahahahahha people don't get that it IS your personal server and you can do whatever the fuck you want.. I had some nadnuzzler try and tell me he was a lawyer and he was gonna sue me for banning his ip range.

The only "intuitive" interface is the nipple. After that, it's all learned. -- (Bruce Ediger, in comp.os.linux.misc, on X interfaces.)

<ajax> like when i get home.. <ajax> my parents are going to be like 'uhm you told us to send money becuase you needed a haircut, we sent you a $100 and your hair is long still'

<boing> hey, anyone fuck with nt server? <ajax> yes. <ajax> i kicked one once.

<fRy-> One day I'm going to personally witness the abuse of a sweet dog and fifteen years of suppressed rage will flow from my fists to the motherfuckers mouth. :P

"I usually put my name, email, and phone number on my emails to establish my identity," he said. "But I learned a valuable lesson this time. I learned some people that spend a lot of time on the Internet aren't very nice."

The Voodoo4 4500 and Voodoo5 5000 have PCI versions, and we may create more. There are still a lot of serious gamers who use PCI. -- FAQ at 3dfx.com

<Musc> fuck <Musc> i just cut off my own head by accident <Musc> with this foot ong scalpel <Musc> i wonder how long i have before ica n's Type anYMOR

<Emeron> lol <fRy-> See? He used my most hated acronym. :P <fRy-> That's fucking unforgivable. :P <phillip> fry, Emeron is a she :P <fRy-> Oh, no wonder he's so fucking stupid then. :P

*** Joins: uncola (uncola@a204b210n99client213.hawaii.rr.com) <dav^> haha uncola your hostname sucks

Hi Phillip! I'm Katya from France! and looking for a webfriend to talk to -- ICQ message

<mynx> a woman i know on a parenting list just emailed me and wanted to know why i was playing quake with her husband * mynx sighs <mynx> ITS A BOT

<Deathreap> Fuck you, DeadRinga. :P <DeadRinga> Fuck you, Deathreap :P <Deathreap> No period. Invalid. :P

"There ought to be limits to freedom." -- Presidential candidate George W. Bush

<Belhade> I hate customers

<ajax100> We are envious of his long, luxurious hair. :P

<fRy-> Or "My girlfriend got pregnant, but sadly upon learning of it I grew so excited at the thought of being a father that I flailed by arms, sending her sprawling down the stairs. In a vain effort to catch her I accidently punched her in the fucking stomach" :P

Hi, i'm a Player on your server known as ViRuS|sK and i was wondering if your server has been rebooted in awhile.. i get major packet loss lately on My 56k modem from your server

<ReDeC> uh....look through linux code and shit... <DarkDruid> I don't need to look through code written by 16 year olds

<Deathreap> MWEERRRRR! LOOK AT ME! I LIKE LINUX! MWERRRRRRR!%!#% I'M COMPILING MY KERNEL! MWEEEEER!%! :P

<fRy-> Well. :P <fRy-> I'm currently talking to the chick I fucked a week ago on AIM. :P <fRy-> I could post a log. It's funny. :P <fRy-> .. In some way. :P <fRy-> She said she was depressed and I told her I could come over and give her the best ten seconds of her life.. <fRy-> Then she said maybe it was that time of the month and I said "YIPEE SHE'S NOT PREGNANT!! NOW I WON'T HAVE TO COME TO YOUR HOUSE WITH A COATHANGER!!" :P <fRy-> She didn't think it was funny. :P

<Elementl1> i wouldn't dare visit a url posted in this channel

<phillip> kit :P <kitdeluca> why are you sticking your tongue out at me? <Deathreap> Kit. :P>-|O: <kitdeluca> i don't even know what that is supposed to be dr but i will have to say no

<Dr_Warren> i quit wearing underwear february 12, 1998 <Dr_Warren> it was an important day in my life

<phillip> http://www.trainupachild.com/ <Mukluk> What the fuck? Everyone knows that Jesus was a white man. :P <Deathreap> With some crafty use of a modelling knife, you could make it look as though jesus was flipping people off. :P <nihil`> ooooh <nihil`> job comes with sores lesions, and all <Mukluk> You know, phillip, it's often said that you look like Jesus. :P <Mukluk> And I must say that I agree. :P

<Programan> :P <deuteron> :P <Norbule> :P <phillip> :P <DeadRinga> :P

<phillip> actual .sig on slashdot: http://mail-abuse.org/rbl/ - kills spammers dead http://www.alladvantage.com/go.asp?refid=GZX636 - Get paid to surf <Oloryn> shouldn't those cancel each other out, resulting in an immense explosion?

<PEaBra|N> can someone guide me to the quake help channel? <Dr_Warren> PEaBra|N i respect your usage of alternating capital letters in your nickname. it shows that you are a wild and crazy driver on the information highway, and that you will not bow down to societal norms and typical rules of capitalization

<RevZOOT> NAPSTER <RevZOOT> CLOSE MEANS CLOSE <RevZOOT> NOT MINIMIZE TO TRAY

<Bargeld> gibbler: last year, this kid in my history class tried to get me to give him porn on 1.44 floppy disks, he said "my mom installed KIDSAFE (tm) software, and i can't do anything on aol now" <Moneo> Did he say '(tm)'?

<DemonEatr> In the time it's taken Daikatana to come out, mynx will have put out two kids <DemonEatr> wow

<conj> I had a blind date once. Her name was ::. .: .. :.

<Random/#linuxos> II TTHHIINNKK YYOOUURR DDUUPPLLEEXX IISS SSEETT WWRROONNGG..

<ajax> [msg!killcreek] MAY I PLEASE LOOK AT YOUR TITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTIES :) (THE SMILEY MEANS I'M SWEET *WINK WINK*)

<Mulet> jesus. I just got a .jpg email from my wife. title 'xxxsmurf' <Catalyst> Mulet: Your wife is into toon pr0n, you should be proud. <]homicide> mulet you are getting some tonight? <Mulet> if I paint myself blue <]homicide> maybe it's your wife, dipped in blue paint, engaging in sex with another man

<Deathreap> I just got peed on by the squirrel. :P <Deathreap> It was my fault, really. :P <Deathreap> I took him away from the cage, and he hadn't pissed yet. :P <Deathreap> ..and he was all like "OH FUCK!%# I GOTTA PISS!#!%!%# WHERE CAN I GO>!#%>!#%?!" <Deathreap> ..and he was running too and fro, and finally, he just gave up. :P

<zaurg> YEAH MOTHERFUUCKER. i just killed a big bug that flew in here <zaurg> with a sock

<ajax> Coolio WILL find the real hacker. :P <deuteron2> yeah, just like OJ WILL find the real killer :P <fRy> OJ IS INNOCENT. <Dr_Coolio> bahahah <ajax> THE JUICE IS LOOSE! <minya> ahahaaah, Coolio's going to have Johnny Cochrane in his trial. :P <deuteron2> hahaha <deuteron2> if the packet don't fit, you must acquit! <minya> ahahahha <phillip> hahahaha <fRy> ahahahahaha

<ajax> I feel like emailing the fbi and telling ...and i quote...'muahaha i did steal head server of internet'... <ajax> followed by...'if push 'reset' button whole net is going to DIE'

<Moneo> God. Also. Why does MPLAYER install with Q3? Is this fucking Daikatana? Jesus fucking Christ. <DRnaughty> Moneo: deal with activision and mplayer <Moneo> Well, it shouldn't automatically install. That is gay shit. They should get fucked for that.

God was my co-pilot... But we crashed in the mountains, and I had to eat him.

<fRy> What idiot producers think the same people who watch the superbowl want to see happy unite the world music playing with big puppets. <Mukluk> American football is for assholes. :P <hsoj> what the fuck is wrong with those people? <hsoj> why is the halftime show trying to appeal to twelve year old girls?

<Masque/#perl> I respect xchat because it autoconverts 'u' to 'you'.

some big kids stole my tamagochi at the happy mart

<ajax731> pfft, ajax doesn't travel on buses. :P <fRy> Many warriors have WALKED hundreds of miles with countless battles as rest stops. :P <fRy> You can ride a fucking bus.

The Earthworm: Sleek and gamey. Burrowing deep beneath his prey, this annelid strikes without warning.

<RevZOOT> [KingKaos] is KingKaos@kingdashkaos.ne.mediaone.net King Kaos <RevZOOT> kingdashkaos <RevZOOT> he called up mediaone and asked for "king dash kaos" <RevZOOT> those mediaone techs are certainly very literal

<shiro> YES...AN ALL NEW TOUCHED BY AN ANGEL

<yagda> thats a scary picture.. <`phillip> is it? :P <yagda> you look like a serial killer... <`phillip> haha <`phillip> be glad i dont know where you live :P

<Gryz> dude, i remember duck hunt <Gryz> i just put the gun on the tv <bigboss> cheater <Ichabod> i always tried to shoot the dog

<]homicide> NEW VOODOO 32905723985, WITH ENHANCED 128MB J-BUFFER

<ajax731> Oh shit, i didn't realize fRy had expanded his page. :P <ajax731> He added 'How Sonic the Hedgehog got me laid'. :P

<Allanon`> phew, the disciplinary board didnt put me on probation <Coolio_> allanon, what for? <Allanon`> email fraud :P <Coolio_> haha <c4> email fraud? <Allanon`> yeah, I telnetted into the smtp server here and sent an email to my roommates from their girlfriends <Allanon`> and then i sent an email to the unix admin from the unix admin telling him to fix it (I signed my name too)

<Musc> i'm back <`phillip> go away again <Musc> go to hell i declare <Musc> foul rogue <Musc> and suck my cock <Musc> it is hard as a rock <Musc> i am wearing a frock <Musc> the boats in the dock <Musc> my feet are in sock <Musc> the door has a lock <Coolio> shut up you cock

<DarkDruid> wtf <DarkDruid> this 16 year old girl called loveline <DarkDruid> and asked if there was something wrong with her because she is really attracted to serial killers and she gets her boyfriend to choke her during sex <DarkDruid> you know... <DarkDruid> you shouldn't even need to ask that <DarkDruid> you should just know you're fucked up

<apropos> oh and software engineers are just boring <^PMS> boring is bad? <Superf0Rk> psst they are the ones with $$$ <apropos> psst i can make my own $$$ <Superf0Rk> psst ok

<`phillip> here's a joke :P <`phillip> This baby seal walks into a club....

<minya> ajax. :P <minya> You know what? :P <ajax731> What? <minya> IT's Christmastime. :P <ajax731> It is. :P <ajax731> Happy Holidays, minya. :P <minya> Same to you, ajax. :P <ajax731> Season's Greetings. :P <minya> Graceful Kwanzaa. :P <ajax731> Happy Chanukah. :P

<kitdeluca> i think my parents are looking at porn on my computer <kitdeluca> i dont think they realize that lil bar comes down and you can see addresses typed in

<mynx> fuckin a kilroy gave my email address to one of his chick friends and now she spams me constantly <mynx> with fwds that i've already seen fifteen times <N2DeeP> and there's always like an aol addy at the top too <N2DeeP> go figure <Coolio> i threaten people who fwd shit to me, i told my sister and two of my irl friends i'd beat the hell out of them if they ever did it again

<ajax731> My favorite part.. <ajax731> was when the Pro-turtle people who were dressed like turtles... <ajax731> they were dancing in front of the armored cops who looked like turtles too. :P

<apropos> i remember when our security admin backdoored ls -foobar to get a root prompt <apropos> that was eleet.

<skank_> ERROR: Couldn't load scripts/base.shader <skank_> wtf does that mean <TheRaver> Skabz: apparently you cannot load base.shader <DarkVein> Skabz: it means there was an Error, it couldn't load scripts/base.shader

<sickman> oh god....slashdot has become the #1 forum for whiney fucks on the planet...apperantly they are whining that q3a and ut both report some basic system configuration information so they can tell you about any updates you might need

*** BonesFAIL changes topic to 'I put the full starrrr quote down as an answer on my math final.'

<bigboss> too bad there isnt anything else to DO in linux <bigboss> wheee ncftp or something

*** Joins: pscaddy00 (pscaddy007@73.newark-11-12rs.nj.dial-access.att.net) <AlmostGod> pscaddy00 is going to ask a stupid question, i can feel it <pscaddy00> anyone have a warez ftp <AlmostGod> OH <AlmostGod> i KNEW it <^PMS> AlmostGod, you were right <Camshaft> HE DID!!! He did ask a stupid question! All we had to do was wait!

<Zanshin> it's the universal chicken noise

<Redtalon> What's the address of the AOL mailserver?

<Yyrkoon> Where can you get mac warez?

<Programan> People aren't gonna let doom go. :P <Programan> It's the cause of all teen violence. :P <Programan> Even though it's FIVE years old. :P

<josh> I would have banged her when she was clarissa explains it all

<Deathreap> You can't hurt me with your palsy linux geek limbs. :P <Deathreap> Windows all the way, asshole. :P

<ajax> MEXICO CITY (AP) -- The 17-year-old boy had traveled some 1,300 miles -- alone -- from Honduras to Laredo, Texas, when he said his trip ended abruptly with a kick in the stomach from a U.S. Border Patrol agent. <ajax> RIGHT ON. <ajax> If that's what they do we need to pay them more money.

<Belhade> I was going through all my shit....went into the mirc logs....my latest #quake log was 43.7 megs, I didn't dare open it. Also have a log where I was hitting on apropos.....she respinded with "I liked you when you thought I was a guy"

<marlina> pirated software? whats that mean? <CompWizrd> mar: WAREZ. <marlina> oh <marlina> k

TIMEDOG 2020 A.D. , Plot: a dog travels through time, stopping crimes, and teaching kids about history along the way. However the "hook" of the film is that Timedog is a blatant overt racist, and teaches the children his own white-friendly version of history. At the end of the film timedog learns that he is in fact not white, but a fucking dog. and that traveling through time is pretty "faggy". the scene then ambigiously fades to credits like all fucking artsy films do, how about an epilogue or at least some fucking closure you fucks.

*** Now talking in #4am *** Topic is '<Slashdot> What's your favorite OS? <JohnCarmack> WinNT. <Slashdot> :(' *** Set by Deathreap on Tue Oct 19 00:39:03

<THE_Chris> man u got problems bitch .. shut the hell I AM BETTER THAN U COULD EVRY BE << U ARE BELOW ME !!

Discovered lots of things about Dynamic HTML. Notably that almost every site attempting to use it is crap, crashes browsers at random or both. I think there is a hint here in web design. - Alan Cox

<phillip> http://www.cuecat.com/ <minya> Excellent. :P <minya> This thing is totally fucking useless, isn't it? :P <phillip> don't say that :P <phillip> you can scan your books... and shit :P <phillip> IT HAS SO MANY USES! <minya> So what? WTF? :P <minya> It's useless. :P <Deathreap> Tits on a bull. :P <minya> Exactly. :P <Programan> Indeed. :P <minya> Tits on a fucking bull, Shamson. :P

<Deathreap> josh: Would you like me to tell you a converstation I had with my shift leader at work today? :P <Deathreap> josh: Well, after he got a machine working, he went "How do you like THEM apples? Do you like apples?" and I was like "Oh, I like apples as much as the next guy.." and he was like "I like them MORE than the next guy!" and then I said "Well, I think he'll have something to say about THAT.." and then we both had a good laugh. :P

<Deathreap> josh: I buggered up some tape on the hot printer, and I went "I'm useless, useless as tits on a bull!" and he went "I've seen a bull with tits.." and I went "Did you call him a useless son of a bitch?" and then, we laughed, and then I said "You should have taken his picture and sent it to websters, for the definition of useless.." and we laughed again.. :P

<Programan> I hate all this hate crime crap. :P <Programan> You can't beat the crap outta someone for being an asshole anymore. :P

<Katris> know what phillip wants? <phillip`> heh <phillip`> I only want one thing :\ <Katris> he wants a 5foot 8 inch ...125 pound...female with long black hair and who plays computer games...

#linuxhelp <fRy> okay, motherfuckers, i didn't want to get dirty about this, but if my motherfucking machine isn't fixed in one fucking minute you're all going down. i have winnuke.exe :P <fRy> .. and i'm not scared to use it :P *** Quits: steil (Ping timeout) <fRy> steil just felt it :P <fRy> and much like the movie hackers, after i winnuke you i will stream full-screen perfect digital video and audio across your 14.4 modem telling you i did so :P

<Deathreap> Fuck. :P <Deathreap> gzip sucks. :P <Deathreap> it made me delete one of my bots. :P <Deathreap> it converted all the files to .gz files. :P <^PMS> haha <Deathreap> After I recompile, I think I'll try tar. :P

<Musc> phillip is the source of all dental floss <Musc> his hair is bleached <Musc> and put onto spools <Musc> sometimes waxed or mint flavored

<RedLine-> djgirl, he's saying you're a filthy whore. :P <djgirl> I'm not filthy <minya> Hahahh. :P *** minya changes topic to '(RedLine-) djgirl, he's saying you're a filthy whore. :P (djgirl) I'm not filthy' <RedLine-> dgirl: Well, PMS says you are. Though, I'm not saying I agree. :P <djgirl> You guys are so mean

<janvier> i like the juicy sensation in my mouth, not up my nose

<minja> whoa, the paperclip helped me <minja> ROCK ON LITTLE PAPERCLIP

<Musc> 3dfx reeks of crapossity <Warran> ahhahaha 3dfx went from being THE company for 3d acceleration, to some horrible company of gayness that everyone hates and doesnt trust

<AJK> puff da magic hard drive lived near drive B: sorta near the power sply in a tower owned by me

<fRy> my iq drops 50 points IMMEDIATELY around hot chicks

<Jazzzzz> AlmostGod: it has always been my dream to have a group of people to play an online game with that had a fucking clue about what they were doing <Jazzzzz> I even tried doing the clan thing once, but it was so full of refugees from aol I was scarred for life and will never return

Many traders of MP3 files have moved to the old Internet Relay Chat service, a technological hangover from the days when the Internet was text-based, to set up and administer chat rooms where file exchanges are arranged. Some IRC servers even allow bots, small programs that scan, copy and automatically trade files around the clock.

<DarkDruld> you're all going to be in my book <DarkDruld> PMS shall be in the enemies chapter

<mynx> pms: i think the beard suits you <mynx> "you're a handsome devil, what's your name?"

<Devest8R`> anyone have a q1 server up? <BonesBro> Devest8R`: no. q1 servers are now illegal. sorry.

<Gryz> i went into #teenchat and said "16/m/ca looking to chat to girl" and when the girls would /msg me i'd be like "What is your favorite weekly periodical" and there would be silence for a couple of minutes and then they'd be like "huh?"

<fRy> i thought all you fucks were fucking linux hacker fucks

<josh> I was suprised out how mad my mom got when my brother went "FFFF!" and I want "uck!" and he went "you!" and I went "mom!" <Kveldulv> please don't say it was planned <josh> it wasn't <josh> we were in the car <Kveldulv> that's ok then ;) <josh> my mom smacked me

<josh> My brother got caught sleeping with his girlfriend. :P <josh> My mom's about ready to castrate him. :P <josh> I don't think he even had sex with her. :P

<Katris> every so often I show up...piss pms off and come back later * Katris shrugs, "I dont mean to. It just happens that way."

<`phillip> so tell us KC, what's really going on at Ion? I know yall arent really workin on a game... <KillCreek> phil: we all sit around naked and masturbate, basically. Except on Thursdays. <`phillip> ah ha! As i suspected! <DLister> killcreek: is Thursday orgy day?

<Deathreap> Well, even though I KNOW there's no god, that doesn't give me the right to tell anyone else that. :P <ReDeC> holy shit you should see my sister go off.....christ almighty....she should be a nun <Deathreap> That's like telling a kid there's no santa. :P

<OmegaX> have you guys ever glanced at the CRAP written in these "Seventeen" magazines? <OmegaX> good lord, how can these little idiot girls read this shit.

<quaker2> give me the web

<starrrr> muhaha i did steal head server of Internet. If push "power" button the hole net will be shutdown. i hate all you Quake Playas!! !! !! uu!! And if push reset button the whole Internet going to DIE!!

<RED> herbert: why not join a server that doesn't allow bfg's? <BLUE> [BMF]Firefly: well this one didnt <RED> tittygirl: netdoor used to not have bfg <RED> herbert: this one used to have the bfg before it was gone <BLUE> (007)Corman: yeah i know <BLUE> (007)Patriot: pms shakes it up a bit <RED> tittygirl: it used to have it before it was gone

<TouchTone> Sooo... <TouchTone> in saturday morning love 101: what have we learned so far.. <TouchTone> is it [A] if a womans lips are moving, she is lying <TouchTone> [B] If she cheats with you on her current guy, shes gonna do the same to you eventually <TouchTone> [C] Anything that bleeds for a week a month and doesn't die is totally fucked up <TouchTone> [D] all of the above

<josh> you're stupid phillip

<janvier> unpredictability is just order too complex for one to comprehend

<rainica> I AM HYPER * pms pounces on jess <rainica> GET OFF * pms gets off

Please don't put a strain on our friendship by asking me to do something for you.

<uncola> I still can't believe praying mantis'es(sp?) eat the males brain after sex <uncola> IMO we should help our male insect brothers by rubber banding the females mouth shut when they go into heat

*** DemonEatr changes topic to 'Shotgun: $250. Trenchcoat: $400. Your classmates' expressions: Priceless.'

<Deathreap> I don't discuss religion though, ignorance is bliss, I'll let them stay happy little insects. :P

<ReDeC> I was at this church in Medicine Hat once.....and I walked into this room....and this hot-as-all-hell chick was getting it doggy style from the youth pastor.....in the fucking church.....that's fucking sweet

<Kilroy_> I saw a woman interview a ROTC commander, upset that he was "equipping young men to be killers". he replied "you are equipped to be a whore ... are you?"

<Benholio> man it sucks getting down with a girl who isn't a virgin and you are one, i like, feel like a llama... i feel like i'm using the keyboard and she's using +mlook

<sintox> once my friend let a girl shoot a 45 at a party.. fuck bitch.. she squeezed off a round and there was blood pouring from her forehead.. they thought she somehow caught a ricochete but it was the kick from the gun .. the hammer smacked her in the forehead when it kicked

<uncola> I suspect that town was slowly becoming mind controlled by parasitic aliens and those two guys were the last free humans and they heroically took out the leaders in the library and all the parasites died

<TheLeech> TNT2 will even swallow

*** uncola changes topic to 'A3D API TO BE INCLUDED IN Q3:A, HELL YEAH have a nice day eax lusers'

Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball.

<Revolver-> i feel so less dirty since i have purged win98 from my computer

<Desdemona> Cola, where do you live? <ColaMP3> I'd be inclined to say hell, Desdemona, but I'll give you the true name for hell. Upstate New York.

<XeaXes> I can't believe I'm here on a friday night

<Deathreap> I kick ass at volleyball. :P <Deathreap> In public school, I was by myself against the rest of my class, and I won. :P <Deathreap> I just served to where the girls were standing all the time, and they screamed and ran away from the ball. :P

<vapid_> i wish i had a cameo in a Scientology commercial <vapid_> it would involve pointing and laughing <vapid_> the commercial would be much more interesting

<PoitNarf> 1999 better not suck :P

*** Joins: toungetie (P00P@ip86.santa-clara11.ca.pub-ip.psi.net) <toungetie> Hey.. anyone know if a soundblaster AWE64 Gold supports EAX? <ajax731> Uhm. <ajax731> No. <ajax731> Thank you. <toungetie> damn <ajax731> Drive through. <toungetie> drive through? <ajax731> THank you sir. <toungetie> ah <toungetie> thank YOU sir *** Parts: toungetie (P00P@ip86.santa-clara11.ca.pub-ip.psi.net) <ajax731> Another happy customer. <ajax731> I'm feeling tingly inside.

<CrazeD^> aol broads ask the stupidest questions "so what are you doin right now?" what do you think.. im sittin here on aol bitch <file_id> CrazeD^: wtf you doing on aol

<uncola> I am pro-death <uncola> they should abort every child that's not perfect <uncola> just keep the real good ones <daru1> uncola: weRd <daru1> UTOPIA HERE WE COME@$%@# <daru1> i'm here...so therefore i must be perfect :P <uncola> oh, you are <daru1> that's a good philosophy cola <ajax777> we need to abort people i dont like.

<Nugget94M> what good is a boot logo on unix, I mean, you only see it once, right? :)

<BloodHeur> Smells like death. :P

<phillip> next version of aol to be %100 java? <DaScott> and 200% slower

<daemon23> Geez. Now I'm morally opposed to both browsers.

<Avarvae> revenants in doom2 have more flesh on their bones than fiona

The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States respectively, or to the people. -- 10th Amendment to the Constitution of the United States

Those days you were wearing that velvet dress You're the priestess I must confess Those little red panties they pass the test -- Third Eye Blind, Semi-Charmed Life

And the four right chords can make me cry When I'm with you I feel like I could die And that would be all right, all right -- Third Eye Blind, Semi-Charmed Life

<Marlina> seek help :p

<Crapple> is it true that everything said here must end in ":P" or i'm banned for life? :P <Crapple> fear me. for i break the unspoken rule of the smiley.

<john> what are you into? <mynx> leather <mynx> and you <john> well this may seem kinda silly <john> but i like girls to make goat noises <john> say baaaa <mynx> baaa <john> oh baby <mynx> baaaa baaaaaaa..../me gets on all fours and gets caught in a fence <mynx> baaa <john> take me to the one they called greygoon

<hellspwn1> druid.. you have unreal? <DarkDruid> It sucks <DarkDruid> deleted it

<cheezy> Heloise can't believe people stay online here for ages... how long have you been online PMS?

My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low-grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a 15 year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink, he would make outrageous claims, like he invented the question mark. Sometimes, he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy - the sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical: summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring, we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent, I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds. Pretty standard, really.

Finally those capitalist pigs will pay for their crimes, aye, comrades?

You know, I have one simple request, and that is to have sharks with freakin' laser beams attached to their heads. Now evidently my cycloptic colleague informs me that that can't be done. Can you remind me what I pay you people for? Honestly, throw me a bone here!

I've been frozen for 30 years. Throw me a friggin bone here... I'm the boss... Need the in-fo.

That's right, Mr. Garrison, Genetic engineering lets us fix God's horrible, horrible mistakes, like German people.

<fRy> should we ban the entire aol domain because of that one fuck? <ajax731> fry... <ajax731> kilroy explained it best. :P <ajax731> if you know one mosquito has malaria... <fRy> yes, i know <ajax731> do you hunt it down... <ajax731> or put up a mosqitoe net?

<_Underdog> hey, when you make a quake3 server with windows just for you and your friend to play <_Underdog> any idea why its so lagged? <Habz> _Underdog: because you really don't have any friends

<S|lentBob> hahahaha, omfg, i just downloaded a PHD APPLICATION in ms word format that was infected with a macro virus

<Revolver> women aren't people <Revolver> they are only warm holes

<shawncorn> you don't spend every last dollar on your computer? <mstrpppts> no <phillip> get out

<Mustang|> I'm going to drink beer with large chested women while you sit on irc, so don't call ME a faggot, fuckwad. :P

<SDark-> do not kick me again, that is a warning.

<Serfer> someone needs to make ircspy <Serfer> ping irc servers and shit for the fastest one

<RyanBoldr> THIS IS MY DADS COMPUTER...HE TOLD ME NOT TO TAKE OFF CAPS

<DarkDruid> PMS is the bastard hanson son

* mynx grouses

<|nqbuss> i have no problem deciding what to do. if i'm hungry, i eat. if i'm tired, i sleep, if i need to use the bathroom, i use the bathroom, if none of the above, i sit in front of the computer

I'm sick of news people, who don't know AOL from firewall IP tunelling, telling me all about "The NET". Like, shut up and stuff, Beavis. This is Varak, telling news people to SHUT UP. You don't know what you are talking about. All you are doing is confusing all the net.sheep out there...

MUDs and IRC are not cunductive to productive work, a good GPA, or any degree of a real life. -- Dodger's Top 10 Truths About the Internet

<minya> anyone want on to my ftp? :P <minya> DevilDude: get on it. dns me, port 21, mp3/warez. :P <minya> Who the fuck is reading my A drive? :P